❤️ What Not to Do in Bed
10 Gentle Reminders for More Connected, Conscious Pleasure
Intro:
Let’s be real most of us weren’t given a manual on intimacy.
We learned through guesswork, whispered chats, the odd rom-com… or, let’s be honest, a lot of very unrealistic online content.
But here’s the thing: amazing sex isn’t about wild tricks or Olympic stamina.
It’s about attention. Curiosity. And tuning into your partner as much as your own desire.
So in the spirit of deeper connection, here’s what not to do in bed.
No shame, just a loving list of reminders that might elevate your next encounter from fine to unforgettable.
1. Stamina Doesn’t Equal Satisfaction
Long isn’t always better.
If things start to feel like a gym session (minus the hydration breaks), it might be time to pause.
Focus less on endurance and more on attunement.
Rhythm, responsiveness, and connection win every time.
2. If You’ve Taken Something, Say Something
Performance enhancers exist and there’s no shame in using them.
But honesty builds trust.
Letting your partner know beforehand shows care, not weakness.
Pleasure is a shared experience, not a solo mission.
3. Foreplay Isn’t a Warm-Up
Foreplay isn’t about ticking boxes or racing to the “real” thing.
It’s presence, intention, and exploration.
Think beyond the obvious a glance, a whisper, a slow touch in a non-sexual spot can be more powerful than a script.
4. Don’t Surprise Them with a Porn Plot
If your arousal started with a solo screen session, don’t treat your partner as the closing act.
And if you want to bring visual aids into the bedroom, make it an invitation, not an assumption.
Consent is sexy. Collaboration is even sexier.
5. Lingerie Isn’t Just a Gift
Lingerie can be gorgeous, but if it’s framed as a present for them that’s really about your own pleasure, it might land flat.
A thoughtful gift considers the person wearing it, not just the one unwrapping it.
6. Don’t Ask for a Scorecard
“Was I a 10?” might sound cheeky, but often it’s a quiet bid for reassurance.
If the connection was beautiful, trust that it showed.
And if you’re curious about your partner’s pleasure, ask from openness, not ego.
7. Nagging Isn’t Seduction
If someone isn’t in the mood, asking over and over won’t spark desire it will likely dim it.
Try presence. Compliments. Affection.
And respect a “not tonight” with grace.
Desire grows in safety, not pressure.
8. The Vulva Isn’t a Doorbell
Touch with intention, not aggression.
More pressure doesn’t mean more pleasure, especially with fingers.
Stay curious. Watch for cues.
Treat the body like a language, not a checklist.
9. Kissing Is an Art
A good kiss should feel like a conversation, not a wrestling match.
If your partner is leaning back, gasping for breath, or wiping their mouth… you might be doing too much.
Sensuality lives in slowness.
10. Anal? Always Ask
Curiosity is fine. Enthusiasm is great.
But consent is everything.
If it hasn’t been discussed clearly, don’t assume.
Boundaries are not barriers they are blueprints for safety and trust.
Final Thought
Pleasure isn’t a performance.
It’s presence, play, and mutual care.
If you want to know what your partner enjoys most?
Ask. Listen. Adjust. Repeat.
That’s where the real magic happens.
🌿 Takeaway Reflection
Good sex doesn’t start with technique.
It starts with trust.
Not every touch is perfect, but every partner can feel when they’re being truly attuned to.
And that more than anything, is unforgettable.